Coffee Breakfast

Americans are kinda obsessed with breakfast, to the point where we sometimes eat it for every meal of the day. Except actual breakfast, as we overslept. Anachronisms aside, breakfast in the U.S. is a sacred feast that we're absolutely certain we do better than anywhere else in the world. But do we, really? We examined 18 traditional morning meals from across the globe and ranked 'em from "least nourishing" to "even better than French Toast Sticks."

18. AUSTRALIA

What it is: Toast with Vegemite (sometimes with cheese)

Why it placed where it did: There's literally only one food group represented here. And a bacterial byproduct. C'mon Australia, you've got emus. Can we at least get some giant eggs?

17. RUSSIA

What it is: Kasha (a type of porridge), blini (blintzes)

Why it placed where it did: Again, not too many food groups represented in a traditional Russian breakfast, and the color palette's a little limited as well. If you're a fan of beige and/or wearing khakis, this is the breakfast for you.

16. JAPAN

What it is: Rice, boiled fish, miso soup

Why it placed where it did: A traditional Japanese breakfast involves a lot of fish and tofu and fermented soybeans, which can be kinda... fragrant. Granted, it's probably hella healthy, but we want substance! And fried stuff! Keep reading.

15. MYANMAR

What it is: Mohinga (fish broth, rice noodles, lemongrass, garlic, ginger, onions, and, sometimes, fried fish cakes)

Why it placed where it did: Mohinga is both the most popular breakfast in Myanmar and its national dish, so it's gotta be pretty good. It's also eaten for almost every other meal. An exceptional breakfast should offer foods you can't get the rest of the day! Except when you have breakfast for dinner. But that's different!

14. FRANCE

What it is: Toasted baguette with jam/honey/butter/Nutella
Why it placed where it did: The French are minimalists when it comes to breakfast, but at least they offer customization options where the topping of the bread is concerned. Where they lose major points is its lack of heartiness. It's the most important meal of the day, and we definitely eat it every morning, Mom.